Halloween Jokes for ESL Students

I have a list of silly Halloween jokes. Since I teach ESL to adults, this list of Halloween jokes is not usually an integral part of any of my lessons. However, if we have time during our lesson, and if the moment seems right, I pull out the list.

The great thing about some jokes is that they provide an opportunity to introduce new vocabulary, idioms and slang. For example, one of the jokes is:

Q. Why shouldn't witches lose their tempers?
A. Because they will fly off the handle.

Here's an opportunity to teach my ESL students two new ways to talk about someone becoming very angry:

(1) to lose one's temper,
(2) to fly off the handle

Another joke:

Q. What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
A. Frostbite.

This allowed me to teach two new vocabulary words to most of my ESL students: (1) frost, and (2) frostbite.

Humor is one of the more difficult things for English language learners to understand. So much of our humor is based on cultural references and wordplay. It's a great way to teach vocabulary and, also, for an ESL student to know that he or she is really making progress (at least in some areas).

Of course, humor is subjective. Even if someone understands everything about the joke, he or she may still not think it's funny. That's another story...

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The True Difference Between "Lay" and "Lie"

A couple of days ago, I wrote Lay, Lie, ESL and TV Shows. "DC" took the time to post a wonderful comment explaining the difference between "lay" and "lie." While this may be lost on me, I wanted to post it for my ESL readers, and others, so that it may be of assistance to you. Here 'tis.

"Dogs lay? People lie? But that's not right. Dogs lie (for example, on a bed or on the ground) just as people lie (on a bed or on the ground). I'm not an ESL teacher, but my professional life is based on a good working knowledge of the language. (I'm a writer, editor and publisher.)

When is "lay" appropriate? It's correct to say a person lays a book on a table. But after he does that, then the book is *lying* on the table. Same with a dog. A dog could lay a book on the table. Then the book lies on the table.

When a dog or a person is asleep in his bed, he is lying in bed. When a book is reclining on a shelf, the book is lying on the shelf. (When a person, or even a dog, places a book on the shelf, he lays the book on the shelf. Then the book is lying on the shelf -- just like a book, if it could fall asleep, might be lying on a bed.)

That bit about dogs laying and people lying is pure confusion. It's lie, lay, lain (reclining, whether you're a dog, person or book) and lay, laid, laid (placing something or someone -- whether it be a book, dog or person -- somewhere). --DC"

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Just Another Ethnocentric American

I was helping to prepare one of my ESL students for the Cambridge Advanced English exam today. We were practicing for the speaking part. One of my American ethnocentricities came out when I commented about things being more safe in the world prior to 9/11.

She reminded me of all the wars and other difficulties occurring in the world pre-9/11. She commented that she hears the idea that the world is now less safe from many Americans.

One of the great things I get from working with ESL students from around the world is a reminder that even though I think my ideas are not "typically American," I am still a product of my culture and its influences.

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Lay, Lie, ESL and TV Shows

I was watching a rerun of "Cold Case" last night. One of the suspects in a murder was an ESL teacher. He taught adults. At the beginning of the episode, we saw the detectives interview the ESL teacher/suspect in his classroom. On the chalkboard was written "Dogs lay. People lie." The TV audience may or may not have caught this background scene. I did.

Later in the episode, another suspect corrected himself in an interrogation when he said a sentence that included these words. This tipped off the detectives that there was a connection between this ESL speaker and the ESL teacher.

As it turned out, both the ESL teacher and his student were accomplices to the murder. It was actually the ESL teacher who turned out to be the mastermind behind the murder, and ultimately the murderer. The ESL student was supposed to do the actual dirty work, but the teacher committed the murder before the student could get around to it.

So it was interesting to me that there was actually an ESL teacher as one of the main characters in a TV drama. That doesn't happen too often. Actually, I don't remember it ever seeing it before.

The other interesting thing to me was the use of "lay" and "lie." To this day, this is still one of those things that has not sunk into my head no matter how many times I teach it. I always have to review first before giving a lesson. Then I promptly forget the difference. I think this is the only part of the English language that has consistently given me problems. It's like I have a mental block for some reason. Oh well.

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"Small Talks" and ESL Learners

One of the most common errors I hear my adult ESL students make is referring to small talk as "small talks," with an "s". Small talk never takes an "s" at the end. It's already a plural (compound) noun.

This is probably the easiest thing that I can offer my ESL students about small talk. I can also offer some basic topics for small talk (weather, traffic, food, sports, etc.). For more advanced ESL learners, the topic can get a little more complicated.

After English language learners master the simple small talk topics, they often want to go beyond the basics. I feel that this is often where cultural differences and even political correctness can come into play.

Thanks to my previous lengthy work and life experiences, helping students to maneuver the topic of small talk through these more complex pathways is one of the things that I feel I'm able to offer my students.

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Defining Words for ESL Students

A good English-only dictionary is essential for intermediate to advanced ESL students. I highly recommend Longman Advanced American Dictionaryto all my students.

However, during my ESL conversation lessons, it's not always convenient for my student or me to look up a word he or she doesn't know. Also, dictionaries don't always give the feeling or "flavor" of the word. While the definition may be correct and, sort of, work, it may not be the absolute best word. This is where a native-English speaking teacher can help to communicate the "feeling" of the word.

The other day, one of my students was using the word "territory" to describe a district or area of a large nearby city. I was able to communicate primarily through intonation and body language how "territory" is usually used by native speakers for a lot bigger area than the one he was talking about.

Although not entirely universal, body language and intonation can be very helpful in teaching vocabulary definitions.

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Teaching Small Talk to ESL Students

I've mentioned before that some of my advanced ESL students have asked me about making "small talk." Most want to learn about it so that they can use it at work, especially. Every now and then, I take it upon myself to bring up the issue to my students even if they haven't asked me about it.

I always greet my students with the typical, "How are you?" Every now and then, I get a student who gives a very long answer. Well, as most Americans (and others) know, this question is really a form of greeting. The typical response should be something like, "Fine, thank you. And you?"

This doesn't necessarily mean that Americans are insincere. It's just that the initial "How are you?" should be thought of more as a traditional greeting, rather then a real request for information, or even genuine concern. We may follow up with a more genuine question like, "How are you, really?" if we are closer to the person.

If my ESL students aren't aware of this social skill, then they may turn off others when they are really trying to be polite and genuine. So I think it's a useful thing to teach.

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